On Nothing Much
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Exterior of the Tardis
Interior of the Tardis
Tardis in Possible Sleigh Configuration
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The Doctor as Santa A friend suggested that Doctor Who is Santa Claus, and I think I might agree. Doctor Who Doctor Who is the world's longest-running science fiction television program, broadcast originally from 1963 to 1989 and in a revived form since 2005. Produced by the British Broadcasting Corporation, the show chronicles the adventures of a mysterious and somewhat odd alien -- a long-lived Time Lord named The Doctor -- as he and a series of feisty yet formidable companions travel through time and space in a spacecraft called the TARDIS. The TARDIS -- Time and Relative Dimensions in Space -- is vastly bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside. You could host a small cocktail party in it comfortably. The exterior of the TARDIS is supposed to blend inconspicuously into its environment, but its chameleon circuit broke some time ago and it has been stuck ever since in the form of its last incarnation -- a mid-20th century blue English police box. The Doctor may be the last of his kind to roam the cosmos, and his wanderings seem to be without a particular purpose -- like someone of means on an extended holiday. He journeys from one place to the next battling old enemies and searching out new friends. Kind of like how I do New York. Other than the TARDIS, The Doctor is strangely free of advanced technology. Often, the only gizmo in his possession is something called a sonic screwdriver -- a small handheld contraption that opens panels and hatches, and performs other light duties, while emitting a faint humming sound. Sort of like a galactic Swiss Army knife. The Christmas Theory Here's why The Doctor may be Santa Claus. With the TARDIS, he can get around easily on Christmas Eve to every house having good boys and girls. Before the chameleon circuit broke, he could have disguised the TARDIS as a sleigh -- a popular and stylish form of transportation back in the day -- and set it down on rooftops. Legend firmly established, its current form matters not. The interior of the TARDIS is big enough to hold all the Christmas gifts that need to be delivered in a single night, and, with a sonic screwdriver, access can be gained to the inside of homes for their delivery. Some of the Doctor's companions may have been viewed as elves, a word used to describe extradimensional beings with unexplained or mystical powers. Some of the modern Santa narrative may have been built up around these core elements -- milk and cookies for Santa, the red and white furred garb, a rotund bearded fellow, coal lumps in the stockings for the errant ones, chimney entrée, full-throated belly laughs, Rudolph and the other reindeer for propulsion, and the North Pole base of operations. All likely apocrypha from the unlearneds. Me, I like The Doctor as Santa theory. Simple, elegant, unspoiled. It also explains why I got lousy gifts from 1990 to 2004. Happy Holidays to all.
Brian
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